Around 9:30 pm last night I received a phone call from my mom. I actually didn’t know my phone was ringing, so by the time I got to it she had hung up. I stopped for a second and knew it was time.
A little back story:
About a week before we left for Disneyland my mother and father told me that my Aunt June (my mom’s sister) was going to be taken off of Dialysis. I knew she wasn’t doing well, I just wasn’t sure all of the details. The doctors had said she would probably only last 10 days. Through the summer I would wait to hear from my mom and think that she would tell me Aunt June had passed, but no word. Midway through I thought, maybe she will be able to hold out until we move to Oregon so I can see her one last time. So I stopped expecting the call.
Then the phone call last night happened. I just knew what the conversation was going to be. I called my mom back and as she picked up the phone I could her the stammer in her voice as she said Hi. She tried to keep the beginning of the conversation light by asking how I was and wondering what I was doing. Then she told me. Aunt June passed away.
At first I was in shock. Not so much of the fact that she passed, but the fact that I had a feeling she did. I know God has the ability to give us those hints or feelings so I know it was Him helping me prepare my heart. Then came the tears. A trickling creek flowed down my face and onto my husbands shirt as he held me close. I was able to dry my eyes and have a conversation with my mom before letting her go.
The rest of the evening was quite dreary. I couldn’t think straight. I went to the bedroom early, laid on my bed and let the flood gates open. I believe my pillow and stuffed hippo were being drowned by my tears. My husband then came in and began to console me and let me cry while chatting about the memories I shared with her.
This morning I made it to church (my stuffed hippo in tow). Through some great youth kids that I sat with and chatted about Doctor Who, Mt. Sinai, and anything else under the sun, I was able to push back the pain. During the worship we sang the song “It Is Well”. One of these days I will write about the story of the man who wrote that song, but for now, here are the lyrics.
“It Is Well”
By: Horatio G. Spafford
When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well with my soul.
It is well with my soul,
It is well, it is well with my soul.
Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ hath regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
My sin—oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!—
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.
But, Lord, ’tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul
And Lord, haste the day when the faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.
I couldn’t help but cry during this song. So much of it spoke to her being at rest and peace residing in me. It was than that I remembered that I should be happy for her. She knew Jesus. She had accepted Him into her heart, and I believe that she resides in Heaven at this moment, at the feet of Jesus, singing to Him, with His arms stretched out toward her. No more pain, sorrow, fear, or tears. She no longer has to battle the evil fight of being Bipolar or having diabetes. She is no longer blind! I am so thankful that she does not have to suffer and I praise the Lord she is home.
She is HOME!
I love you Aunt June! Rest well in our Fathers arms for you are Home for eternity!