Unexpectedly Complicated

Knox Territory
Ancient Ruins


I… I… I am so stupid! I don’t know what I was thinking. And then, to simply run away! What a fool! I am so incredibly embarrassed, I don’t even know if I have the courage to tell you what happened. I have been pacing my tent since it happened and that was like five hours ago! Okay, I am practicing the deep breathing exercises you taught me last Spring. I have to get this out… Here is how things went down last night.

Jackson and I were the last two on the work site. I’m convinced that we have these internal competitions with each other to see who will work the hardest and longest. I’m a sore loser so I kept pushing well beyond what I should have. I had not eaten or even had a sip of water all day. I needed to finish uncovering the artifact we were in search of. I was so determined to finish last night so we could finally start heading home.

I didn’t notice when the others left, and I didn’t know that the sun had set. You know how I get when I’m determined! It is as if the world simply melts away. Anyway, it had to be close to 10pm and I heard Jackson calling out for me. I turn around and he’s holding a hunk of bread and some steaming stew. Char, I nearly cried. I had no idea how hungry I was until the moment I saw the food. I nearly passed out.

I did my best to eat like a lady, but I basically devoured everything. The moon had risen over the horizon and by the time I was finished eating I was full and happy. It was the first time the entire trip that I could actually just breathe and enjoy where I was and what I was doing. It is very refreshing.

Jackson had suggested that we call it quits for the night and that we could finish up in the morning. I could feel myself drifting already so I agreed. He helped me up and walked me to my tent. It was nice. He said good night and you know what I did?! Yeah, you guessed it, I turned around and kissed him! I could not believe myself and I have a feeling he was a little shocked. I made a little hiccup noise and then climbed into my tent and shut the door. I’ve been in here panicking ever since.

I don’t know how to face him in the morning. I swear I didn’t mean to do what I did and I don’t want him to read anything into it. Can I get fired for this? Help!







I’m sick, un-pure, and utterly destroyed

The moment his eyes catch mine.

I live in fear and ashamed

Crying myself to sleep at night.


I’ve been trampled and torn to the end

Pierced like a sharp edged sword.

Ripped away from those I loved

Plunged into a damp, dark hole


Gasping for air from a narrow space

I am never coming back

His lies will mean nothing

A heart is what he lacks


I will run, run away

Getting out while I can

Hiding my face from all who see

The woman that I am




Another One?

10:27pm to 10:37pm


It’s that time again! Just ten minutes of writing. Of course, this is when I wonder what I should be talking about. I could talk about my moose I got from Canada. Actually, my husband got me the moose on one of his business trips up there.  He is very cute. He has a sort of lopsided face which makes me think of the sweetest kitty in the whole wide world. His name is Bam Bam and he lives in Florida with Friend and Friend’s husband. Yes, that is what I call her. Her name is Friend :). Anyway, Bam Bam walks with his head tilted to one side because of something that happened to the inside of his ear I believe. When I first met him, he walked right up to me and plopped himself in my lap. He is a very affectionate cat and loves everyone, especially his new baby brother Skyler who he protects 24/7.

I got to go to the Honor Society Induction Ceremony tonight for Southern New Hampshire University. There was quite a turn out. The president of the school was really funny. He took a selfie with all the inductees and took pictures of the crowd. I was inducted into Alph Chi and Alpha Sigma Lambda. Alpha Chi is an honor society for English and writing majors who are in the top 10 percent of their class. Alpha Sigma Lambda is for adult learning and continuing education, and for those who are in the top 20 percent of their class. I don’t say this to gloat. I say it because I honestly can’t believe I made it this far. Really, I couldn’t have done alone, and I didn’t. God was there all the time and he brought people like Kay and my sister Joyce to help guide me and pick me up when I loose hope. I’m so thankful for them!

Oh goodness, my time limit is almost up. I guess I could write more if I didn’t keep looking at the clock. But then again, looking is fun. Makes me feel the pressure. I don’t type nearly as fast as I used to either, so I have to back space quite often. Alright, well it looks like I am done.  See ya next week!


Free(dom) Style

Time Limit: 10 minutes
Rules: No stopping, no correcting, no other rules!


This morning my alarm sounded before the dawn. I was in such a deep sleep that it took me several minutes of alarm before I realized where I was and what was going on. Can it be that early already? I felt as though I had just fallen asleep. Part of the issue is that last night I didn’t fall asleep until well after 1am and I was hit with strange dream after strange dream. Don’t you hate when you dream so vividly that when you wake up you feel more exhausted than before you fell asleep? It is already proving to be a long day at work. Don’t worry, I’m on my first break!

I forgot to eat breakfast this morning, and as I was walking out I noticed sirens. Well, I thought it was sirens. What it really was was the tornado warning sirens going off. The rain was heavy, the wind was strong and the sky was nearly black. If I wasn’t worried about being swept off to Oz, I think I would have enjoyed it more. I got to work fine and the clouds had lightened up. As far as I know there was no real threat or problem, which is always great to hear.

My free write today has been pretty bad. One of my coworkers came in during my break and wanted to talk and then my sweet husband called. He’s on the road for his final week with WinterJam. We barely get to talk when he is away so I do everything in my power to answer his calls when he is away. Who knows how often we will talk that particular day. Ten minutes? Twenty max? I am happy this tour is ending. It was a great experience and the money was decent too, but I like having my husband closer to home.

I’ve extended the write a little bit, but now my head is all distracted. Over the past few days I am reading people that are doing 30 day challenges about writing a 30,000 word book in 30 days. When you break it down, that is about 1000 words a day. It is not as easy as it seems. Part of me really wants to try it anyway. The truth is I have about 40 hours of work to do in a 24 hour people all next week so even the idea of this seems absolutely impossible right now. Maybe when things calm down a little bit.

Next weekend Steve and I are heading to Virginia (driving) with our friends Nikita and Maria for a 3 day seminar. We will be leaving very early Friday morning then we have a conference Friday night, all day Saturday (I think), and Sunday morning. After that morning meeting we are planning to drive the 10+ hours back home. I will be blogging and doing school work during this time as well. Doesn’t it make you tired just thinking about it too? Yeah, that’s what I though. I don’t know how people do stuff like this on a regular basis.

I hope it rains for the rest of the day. I’m in that kind of mood. The rain will actually cheer me up believe it or not. After work I SHOULD go grocery shopping, which probably means that I will go right home and find some comfy pajamas to wear and make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich! I’m hoping to get a few more chapters of “The Sherlockian” read and I would love nothing more than to sleep for 15 hours (so never going to happen).


When In Doubt… Dance Out

About 7 years ago I had surgery on my stomach to keep from having heart burn all the time. The recovery time for surgery said nothing about when I could really start doing faster paced activities. Seeing as it was a Friday, two of my girlfriends and I decided to go swing dancing. It had been a month since the surgery, so I thought I would be fine. I was wrong. Not even half way through the 2nd song I was dancing to, I almost pass out. I was very light headed and not feeling like myself. I thought I would be fine to dance but apparently I wasn’t. My friends dropped everything and took me to the hospital. While there they did everything in the power to make me laugh and keep me focused on other things rather than what was going on. I don’t remember much of that night except for the tremendous amount of laughter and trying to give directions to my friend to get home while I was doped up on pain medicine. Not exactly the best time to be giving instructions.

This was the last time I remember going swing dancing. It makes me sad that I haven’t gone since, but I hope to do it again when we move back to Oregon.