I… I… I am so stupid! I don’t know what I was thinking. And then, to simply run away! What a fool! I am so incredibly embarrassed, I don’t even know if I have the courage to tell you what happened. I have been pacing my tent since it happened and that was like five hours ago! Okay, I am practicing the deep breathing exercises you taught me last Spring. I have to get this out… Here is how things went down last night.
Jackson and I were the last two on the work site. I’m convinced that we have these internal competitions with each other to see who will work the hardest and longest. I’m a sore loser so I kept pushing well beyond what I should have. I had not eaten or even had a sip of water all day. I needed to finish uncovering the artifact we were in search of. I was so determined to finish last night so we could finally start heading home.
I didn’t notice when the others left, and I didn’t know that the sun had set. You know how I get when I’m determined! It is as if the world simply melts away. Anyway, it had to be close to 10pm and I heard Jackson calling out for me. I turn around and he’s holding a hunk of bread and some steaming stew. Char, I nearly cried. I had no idea how hungry I was until the moment I saw the food. I nearly passed out.
I did my best to eat like a lady, but I basically devoured everything. The moon had risen over the horizon and by the time I was finished eating I was full and happy. It was the first time the entire trip that I could actually just breathe and enjoy where I was and what I was doing. It is very refreshing.
Jackson had suggested that we call it quits for the night and that we could finish up in the morning. I could feel myself drifting already so I agreed. He helped me up and walked me to my tent. It was nice. He said good night and you know what I did?! Yeah, you guessed it, I turned around and kissed him! I could not believe myself and I have a feeling he was a little shocked. I made a little hiccup noise and then climbed into my tent and shut the door. I’ve been in here panicking ever since.
I don’t know how to face him in the morning. I swear I didn’t mean to do what I did and I don’t want him to read anything into it. Can I get fired for this? Help!