My daughter is one of the sweetest, most caring girls I know. I’m not saying that because I am biased, no, it’s cause I’ve seen it.
When I’m crying or feeling sad at any moment, she’s there with her arms around my neck hugging me and reminding me that everything will be okay. My boy is just as sweet, however like any boy he’s not to sure of what to do when someone is crying. His eyes do tend to water with mine which is a beautiful sight.
Yesterday was a rough day for me. The finalists for the Today’s show portion of America’s Got Talent (specifically made for the video auditions) had been picked and I was not one of them. It was the first time in a long time that I had put my self out there to audition for anything. I was devastated enough that I cried most of the morning. Before the crying came the frustration which came out at my Husband. I’m glad he’s a calm man. Unfortunately my sweet girl walked in the living room as I got up and went to my room and slammed the door. I laid on my bed and hugged my stuffed hippo.
A couple minutes later my husband walked in and laid on the bed next to me, trying to cheer me up. He said that when I went into the room our daughter said “I love my mommy.” I cried so much. Joy overflowed my heart. Hearing those words when you are a Step-Mom is the most beautiful thing in the world. This helped me smile, dry my tears and continue on with my day.
While at the laundromat (since our apartment lacks a washer and dryer) I apologized to my daughter for her having to see me like I was. She asked why I was so upset and I told her. She knows how much I love to sing. As soon as I told her she looked me in the eyes and said “Never give up Mommy…. NEVER GIVE UP!” She smiled from ear to ear and told me how much she loved to hear me sing. Another moment of overflowing. I really didn’t know my heart could overflow as much as it had yesterday.
She speaks the truth… I can’t give up! Music is a passion of mine. I don’t want to be famous (at least that isn’t my goal), but I don’t want to hide anymore either. I’ve done that for far too long! One of these days I’d like to sing at a restaurant like some of the local talent from Nashville, Tennessee do. My favorite artist to listen to lately has been Colm Kirwan. He sings at McNamaras Irish Pub in Nashville (http://www.mcnamarasirishpub.com/). I saw him when I visited Kay a couple months ago. His music was so beautiful and I adored hearing his voice. Most of all, he inspired me. He’s my age and doing what he loves to do.
I love to write and I’m thankful that I get to do that, but I can’t forget about my music. I love it just as much and I pray, I pray that God will grant me to do that as well. It doesn’t even have to be all the time. The thing is, I was about to give up. I felt like I failed. It was those sweet words of my 9 year old who reminded me that given up is NOT an option. So I will try, try again. I won’t give up! I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13). Maybe I should plaster that verse on my wall.