The Perfect Storm

I have often thought of all of the places that I have been, all the places I have lived, and all the places I still want to go to. I have contemplated the weather, and weather changes. I have thought about nature and what I chose to let surround me. I have thought about all of these things only to realize that I am happily different from a lot of people.

For starters, I’m not a sun person. Where I like the sun the best is on cold crisp Autumn days. The sky would be this beautiful bright blue and the clouds would be few and far between, little wisps, like trails of cotton candy in the sky. The sun would be up and bright, but the weather is cool. I remember days like that when I worked at Whispering Woods Resort back in the early 2000’s. I loved working in the morning (I still do) and being able to enjoy the silence that comes with such days.

I am a sucker for the rain. I see rain, and I am instantly happy. I get excited for rain clouds. I don’t want any of the natural disasters that come with it, of course (flood, tornado, hurricane, etc), but the sound of rain falling, how all of the earth (at least that part that is getting rained on) is being washed clean and nourished. I am often reminded that I need to have my own rainy days to nourish myself and become new.

I have mentioned before that the fall is my favorite season for the above reason and the colors. I love watching the leaves change. I love change, and transitions, I feel the most alive during these times.

One thing that I love, that I know my husband is not very fond of is snow. I love the moments before the snow starts falling. My world grows silent and I can just stand there and look up into the sky and simply watch for the first flake to fall. I wouldn’t even call it falling really. It is more like it floats down from the heavens to the awaiting earth.

My perfect day would consist of all of these things happening while the temperature does not rise about 74 degrees.

Tell me about your perfect day, or perfect storm.


Freedom to Be Me

No corrections, no stopping, 10 minutes, nothing else!

The weather has been getting warmer, and the part of the building where I work is humid, and it doesn’t get great air circulation. I have two fans set up and they work pretty nicely; however, if I move beyond their range, I get hot and sticky fast. The only official uniform we have are these super thick men’s polo shirts which allow zero breathing room. What I wouldn’t give to be able to wear a nice thin cotton t-shirt!

It has been a busy week at work, but I am finally seeing some progress in my department after being going for a while, first with Jay’s visit and then with not being well. The road ahead is still long. This is a marathon, not a sprint. I need to pace myself and take my time.

I loved waking up to a cloudy sky this morning. I know so many people that crave the sun. I am not one of those people. I crave the cloud cover, and the rain. I don’t wish or hope for damaging storms, but I like that type of weather. I feel at home there. I feel safe and welcomed. It puts a smile on my face and that is what is important.

I have too much on my plate right now and it is wearing me thin. I need to prioritize and figure out what I can cut out in order to make sure I am getting more than four hours of sleep at night. There are some things; however, that I am absolutely not willing to give up.

I refuse to give up on my writing on either medium. I will continue to blog 5 days a week, and I will complete my writing challenge everyday of at least 350 words written in my novel. I refuse to give up on the business that my husband and I have started. It is a lifestyle change and it will be hard work, but let me tell you, in the long run, it WILL be worth it. Working side by side with my husband is a dream come true.

If that is what I will not give up, what does that leave? That leaves pursuing my master’s degree in English and Creative Writing (which in all honesty is going horribly at the moment), and my 40 hour a week job. Interestingly enough, these two areas are what is causing the most stress in my life. I am trying to cram two full time jobs into 40 hours (Social Networking Specialist for the entire store and running the media department within the store).

School is the easiest thing for me to drop right now. As hard as I am trying, I am barely making a passing grade which is so unusual for me to get anything below an A. There’s a month of classes left. I am unsure if I can dig myself out of the pit that I am in grade wise. This is hard to admit without being ashamed.

As much as I would LOVE to give up my job, it is not a financially wise decision. I wonder if slimming back my responsibilities and maybe going down to 4 days a week would make a difference. That is something that I would need to discuss with Steve. If nothing else, it would allow me to catch up on the sleep that I so desperately need.

Here are a few of my writing goals both short term and long:

1) Write daily in my novel, 350 words minimum (with a personal goal of at least 500 for the rest of May).

2) Write 75,000 words (approximately a 250 page book) by my birthday: September 23rd. In order to accomplish this, I will need to up my monthly goals from 10,000 to 20,000 which means about 700 words a day for June, July, and August, and finishing up the final three weeks in September.

3) Continue to blog five days a week.

This Time, Last Year

This time last  year I had hit one of my biggest life milestones. After working on and off (more off than on) for nearly 14 years, I finally completed my Bachelor of Arts degree focusing on English and Creative Writing through Southern New Hampshire University.

To put the 14 years into perspective, by the time I started SNHU in 2011, I was going in as a Junior which meant I had two full years to go. This was the first time I was in school full time, and I thrived on it. It was also timed well that I didn’t have to work at the same time as focusing on my school, which allowed for more time to study.

It was a beautiful program. I had my favorite teachers and my challenging ones; however, but the end of the experience, I felt like a better person because of it. My degree did not come until the beginning of June. It was worth the wait.

Why was it so important to me? It’s because I did something (even though it took me a long time) that SO many people told me that I could not do. I’m glad I was faced with the adversity. It made me a stronger person.

Kay graduating Summa Cum Laude, 2013.

Kay graduating Summa Cum Laude, 2013.

And this next picture is how my heart feels today, even amid waves of pain.

heart flowers


It is what I am trying to do right now, but it seems very difficult. Part of it is because I have so much pain resonating in the left side of my head/face/ear. I finally have an appointment to see an ear, nose, and throat specialist so I guess that is some good news.

I’m not sure if I have said this yet or not, but I really like to decorate cakes. It’s fun to take something that is edible and make it look pretty. In fact, I’m designing a cake for a baby shower on the 3rd of May. Yep, this weekend!  I have to start baking the cakes on Thursday and have everything done by Saturday at around 10am. I will probably post a picture of it when I finish it.

I’ve been feeling sort of down today. Not sure if it is cause of dealing with doctors offices, or that I’m missing Kay and Tennessee. It could just be both. Although I love being home with my hubby, the atmosphere here in Mass is just so different that it makes you tense and rushed. I don’t like it one bit.

Well, I should take some pain meds and go to sleep so I can, hopefully, get a full nights rest without rude pain awakenings.

May your brain always be empty so you can shove more knowledge in!! :D



Not home, just a place of residence…

Today has been a day of tears. I was glad that I didn’t cry in front of Kay when she dropped me off at the airport this morning, and I didn’t cry  on the plane, but the moment I saw my husband back here in Boston, the tears wouldn’t stop. I was happy to see him, but my tears were focused towards missing Kay and Tennessee. I honestly felt like I had left home, rather than returning home.

I have come to the realization that where God has placed me now, is not my “home”. It is just a place I reside for now. My husband and I are praying for where God wants us to, because we go where HE calls us to. That is why we have landed here in the miserable, lonely state, of Massachusetts. Don’t get me wrong, this state has some awesome history, and it is a great place to visit, but living here is another story. I don’t fit in at all. I’m a country girl at heart and miss the peacefulness that the country (okay small town) life brought me.

I can’t wait to go back to Tennessee!  I feel more at home there, then I do anywhere else!  Maybe God will bring us there. For now, we will just keep praying!

I am so thankful that I got to spend this week with Kay!  I had a wonderful time and the memories will be cherished!  Can’t wait for the next time I get to see ya!!!  :D



Black Sunday

I don’t know if Jay has plans to write today; however, I for sure am not in the mood for it. It suddenly feels wrong to be writing without her by my side.

We both had trouble sleeping yet managed a few hours. By 4am we were zombies. We kept the conversation light and didn’t really talk about what was coming. We left nearly on time and made it to the airport in record time. I’m sure that was people the rest of the sane people in the Nashville area were still sleeping.

We had a small chat as we pulled up and a hug as a send off. Jay did great by not crying. I knew if she would, I would and then I would be an utter mess on my way home. I went home and she checked in for her flight. We texted a little and then I drifted off to sleep again.

It was eerie when I awoke. There was silence. There was no Jay practicing her French in the next room. There was no waiting in line to use the bathroom. There was no guitar to trip over.

And that is all I have to say about that.


Day Seven: Kay and Jay’s Nashville Adventure

We cannot believe that our week is practically over already. It is sad, and bittersweet. We are confident that our paths will cross again in the very near future. We ended up waking up without alarms and decided to just have a lazy day in our pajamas. Woo hoo! We talked, Jay broke out my guitar (and then left it in the middle of the floor. No surprise that she tripped over it as well. I put it away) and we sang some of our old songs.

We spent lunch with Sherlock and it was delicious. We spent hours working on our book, mostly working with setting. We continued to ask questions and fine tune what we wanted to have happen.

At 6:30, we met up with my friend Rhonda at the local Indian restaurant called Taj. This was Jay’s first Indian experience and it was a success! She loved it. We talked about everything. On two different occasions Rhonda and I got Jay to snort laugh. It was epic. Before we knew it, four hours had passed and we were the only ones left in the restaurant. We had no idea that they closed at 10pm and they were just waiting for us to leave.

Dinner at Taj with Rhonda, Jay and Kay

Dinner at Taj with Rhonda, Jay and Kay

Jay’s flight is requiring us to wake up in less than four hours (thanks Jay)! On a bright note, she had to purchase a THIRD suit case to carry all of the goodies she got in Nashville.

We had an amazing vacation together. Thank you for allowing us to share it with you.


Jay and Kay